Then the sudden realization--not a new one, but one I consistently manage to forget--that the things I most take for granted as a mom and even get irritated with having to do (20 minutes spent reading with Connor, helping Maddie with her endless list of book reports, test studying, student council hopes, Brayden stalling to talk with me at night before bed when I'm anxious to be alone, dropping everything to lay on the tramp and airplane watch with Fisher & Logan) are probably the most important, crucial, how could I possibly let any of it slip by things to do on my busy mom list. Really, the nuts and bolts of this whole operation we've got going on here. And, just like all of my other aha! mom moments, I'm left with two even better questions: (a) how can I be less irritable & impatient in order to make the most of my fleeting youngish momhood and (b) why can't things seem so clear & purposeful later in the day when it's raining nuts and bolts and I'm just plain exhausted from it all?
So...fellow moms, what are the secrets of keeping our heads on straight (more often than not) amid the chaos & stress & exhaustion of the thing we love most in this world? Answers please. Yes, I'm sure it's that simple. :)
8 comments:
I think journaling is a good way to go. I've been trying really hard lately to write more in my personal journal (which just happens to be the draft section of my Blogger dashboard- 99% of it is never published).
When I can think about what's going on and physically remember it (writing it down, rather than just mentally noting it) I'm more likely to retain it. Granted, I only have one child and she's only 3, but I've notice that when I take even 45 seconds for some introspection on my family life, and write it down, that the next day I am more likely to remember to be a little kinder and a little more gentle.
I think that is one reason that we are so encouraged to journal. Not only to relate a history to our posterity, but also to adore life as it is now.
Something else that I TOTALLY envy and want to do is love life like Stephanie Nielson from http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/
You're probably familiar with her blog, but I just love how she treats every day (even before the accident) like it is a special treat. Seemingly small occasions are treated in big ways in her household. My favorite most recent post? http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2009/08/feast-fit-for-2-queens.html
For me I have to just simple expect the chaos. Everyone knows that if you come to my house from 3-5 it is just madness and calling on the phone well forget that because everyone needs your help. My house is a disaster zone during those hours as well. I have just literally just breath. I have really taken the time to enjoy everything since I have been sick. Almost dying can make you really appreciate what you have.
I have no answers unfortunately, but I really appreciate your post. I definitely feel the same way. I think rereading this post regularly will help you remember to take it all in stride. It really is a shame that it's so hard to see the beauty when you're in the midst of the chaos!
great question. i wish i had a really great and profound answer, but instead, i'll just listen in on this conversation to see what wonderful pearls of wisdom turn up because i struggle with this issue too (as i'm sure many of us "youngish moms" do)!
Such a great question. I think we all try our best, every day, to enjoy these fleeing moments.
Oh! i just figured out the answer: Hang out with me more. Hanging out together with our families = happiness for everyone. :)
This post reminds me of the movie Parenthood (1998) with Steve Martin. In it his grandma says (at a very rushed time & right after his character is complaining about his complicated life)
"You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster."
Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
I think if I or you were on the merry-go-round we would get off and get on Wicked. Life is complicated, hectic, sweet, & fleeting...it's a great ride!
I think for me, anything that gets me away and recharges me as a person is important. I always come back happier to take on the chaos that is motherhood. But then, you've got several years on me (plus a few extra kids), so we'll see if my "advice" pans out for me several years down the road! :) You're great, Tracy!
Yeah...as I lay in bed each night thinking of the day and the lack of enjoyment/time spent with each kid, I vow to do better, but lo and behold the next night comes and nothing has changed. It's a hard one I tell ya...let me know if you have some epiphany or something. Until then...I'll just keep trying to make sure that the kids are still alive at the end of the day. :)
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