Snobs

We’ve been driving a base model minivan for the last week while our lovely new vehicle has been back at Carmax getting a power lock wire fixed, a problem we noticed before bought it. When I say base model, I mean the most basic, we didn’t know they make them like this anymore, minivan. No power locks or power windows (which is annoying, but you can get used to it,) but worse, no VENTS anywhere but in the front dash! Speaker system throughout, but no vents. Maybe I sound snobby, but I rather like the idea of my kids in the back of a van having air ventilation. It doesn’t matter how great the music is if you can’t breathe. Or see out the frozen windows in the winter.(?) Still, it’s a free replacement vehicle that fits the whole family, so every time we make fun of this “simple” van, we try to follow it up with an ‘at least we have something to drive’ statement. That’s the kind of good parents we are. Not spoiled at all.

Anyway, we were loading up yesterday afternoon to take Brayden to soccer practice. I opened the driver’s door and climbed in while Brayden hopped in the passenger side and was manually rolling down the window when suddenly, the horn started honking repeatedly. As though it had a panic system and we accidently pushed the red button on the keyless entry or tried to open a locked door. But did I mention this car is equipped with NOTHING? I hadn’t even put the key in the ignition yet! What could it possibly have sensed we were doing? It has no senses! Not even a light that showed it was honking. What could have triggered it? Since there was no possible way to stop the honking because there are what, four buttons in the car, we sat there with our hands in the air, laughing and confused, wondering what in the world to do. At this point, I’m thinking of all the neighbors who are wondering why we can’t turn our car alarm off and certainly staring out their windows at us. (I’m sure they weren’t, but that’s what it FEELS like when you’re embarrassed.) There really was nothing to be done. How long would it honk? I tried starting it up as proof that I had a key and therefore a right to be sitting in it, but this only increased the volume of the honking, which really didn’t seem possible. I guess we could have driven to soccer practice the loud way, but that seemed awfully drastic. And a little bit embarrassing. So, we did the only natural thing--we turned the car off, closed the garage door, and ran inside the house with our hands over our ears.

The honking did stop after we’d hidden in the house a few more minutes and we were able to gingerly load up and go merrily on our way, just a bit late. What did we learn from this? 1. Don't make any sudden movements when driving a "simple" van. 2. We want LeRoy back. No we didn't name him that, but those 10 days we actually got to drive him were gloriously honk-free. And air-conditioned. Snobville, here we come.